Do l believe in God?
Where does belief or rather faith spring from. A hand me down Sop? Or some protein strain in DNA that left subdued through generations mutating in an extempore outburst of feeling religious. Maybe it had to be a habit inculcated in childhood that made you bow down in a temple or say your prayers daily in a Jesuit school. I never questioned.
I never questioned when I had fasted, feeling pious as I am supposed to feel. I never did question faith when the temple bells rung after midnight and I had to jostle to glimpse the statue of God.
I never questioned why I felt peace when I lit a candle in the church on Christmas day. I never bothered to find out why I had been overwhelmed and scared standing in the meditation room of Vivekananda Rock. I never understood why in place of feeling religious I had wondered at the marble figures of Dillard Jain temple.
I questioned why when my head was banged on the walls of Puri temple behind the idols in the dark alley for refusing to pay up the priests. I questioned why when a Hindu from Cambodia was refused entry into Puri temple. I questioned why when I had to walk with police cordon in a sensitive area of Varanasi.
I question why I need to utter arcane chants that I do not understand to pray to God.
When someone tells me to leave to God, I ask why?
Faith moves mountains.
But where do I find it?
I search.
No comments:
Post a Comment